Leaving wow for my GF, or leaving GF for wow.

(Locked)

10 Human Mage
30
Hehe, i was like that when my bf introduced me to WoW. Had a go at him pretty much everytime I died while questing (mainly because as a tank, he managed to survive). Had a go at him when he didn't stand up for me if people insulted me in a bg or dungeon, had a go at him if he levelled faster than me etc etc
What you do, i you let her beat you to 85 (do not level past her. ever.) Get her into achievement earning (and don't compete with her about it), play your alt with her, not your old main (which is undoubtedly better). That way she'll feel like she is actually accomplishing stuff on the game, and not just running afte ryou trying to keep up all the time. The getting upset with you will eventually calm down, but you bloody well should defend her in bgs. If she is doing it wrong, teach her how to do it right, don't just throw her to the wolves and stand idly by as people have a go at her. x-x
Hey, that reminds me of myself and my boyfriend, so let me add my opinion.

I was the same when I started playing WoW with my boyfriend. We had RAF so we raced to level 60 quickly by mostly questing and when we got to higher level, we started arguing all the time. I was new to WoW, playing an Affliction Warlock and sucking badly. Always the lowest DPSer in dungeons, because I simply kept dotting and that's all I did. So obviously people in parties were telling me I suck and that was making me angry. When we got ganked I got angry and started swearing and yelling, which made my boyfriend stressed. I was without internet for a while so I was stuck at level 79 for quite long, and imagine how p*ssed I was when my bf hit 80 and started getting epics in heroic dungeons while I couldn't do anything.

Okay, I guess you get the idea now.

The point is, does she enjoy playing, or does she do it only to spend time with you? Some girls just aren't into games.

If she likes WoW, then teach her, link her theorycrafting websites and tell her how to improve. Eventually she will learn how to play somewhat decently. I've been playing for almost 6 months now and I can't believe I was such a noob before and nobody tells me I suck anymore because I learned how to play and I play even though my boyfriend already quit!

If she doesn't like it and won't put energy into getting better, why doesn't she just stop playing?
100 Night Elf Rogue
14820
If you're even considering the choice between your girl and your videogame, that pretty much says it all about your relationship really....

Is it me or I see here only alliance :S Btw. you shouldn't get your gf to play WoW with ya.It never ends up good,anyhow I would advice you to find some time for her and go out,and enjoy being together,not playing freaking WoW.
85 Undead Mage
8190
just brake up with her -.-
if she gets upset with such a low matter subjects, imagine if you ever have like a REAL argument what's gonna happen.... All i know is that i don't want to be in your shoes when that happens :P

(i think that there should be an achievement for that.... : "survived GF rage" 50 points and Feat Of Strength )
85 Troll Hunter
11140
You just really ask her, what she wants man. If she doesn't like World of Warcraft that much in the first place, she just could find something else to do, like cheer you on, or you just could go and do something else. Or just once in a while you might let her play with one of your chars and teach her slowly of the ways of Warcraft, till she becomes confident enough.

But the choice would be obvious, if you love and like your girlfriend very much, you just should take a hiatus from WoW and be with your GF and once the dusts settles try WoW again and see how things go. Real life should always come first. If however you do not have teh "spark" or just feel uncomfortable together without WoW or any other game, you both should find someone else to be with.

My BF, Ralador, introduced me to WoW somewhat half a year or more ago and since then have become addicted to the game. We play and level together. I OC have my own alt as well, which will get attention when he is doing something else ^^. I know that I can nag the hell out of him when he "dares" to do better in something Wow related, get an achi or something or instead of nagging just become a really moping person. But I'm truly trying on not to nag someone because of a stupid game. It works some times, while other time it works not.
He has thought me courage and showed that I can do several things when I try, PvP, duo instances, take down bosses twice or trice our combined HP. Also pointed me the way of theorycraft (he was an eader LOTRO player, so he has experience) and now I can almost kick ass in BG, CC mostly anything I want and kill something if I put my heart into it.

So in short, at first you can and show her how she should play the game. If she is willing to learn, then teach her. If she is not, explore other possibilities, like taking a small hiatus from WoW, not playng WoW everday etc. If you love and you know that she loves you, you can overcome this (it pays off to ignore the pitching female (and if she is anything like me, trust me, after acting like a jerk, she feel bad)) by little encouragement. If you just don't have anything else to do together when you are not playing WoW, you should leave her, because obviously nothing is between you two.
85 Goblin Hunter
1770
Sounds to me she wants to play WoW because she wants to get time shared with you.
What I havent seen any ask here (granted, I havent read all posts), how much time do you actually spend gaming?
Is it 2 hours a day, investing properly in time with her outside of gaming?
Or is it as often as you can, even full weekend days, sometimes rather seeing that stray hour you could spend with her put into WoW?

Because her getting into WoW might be an attempt to get through to you, she might feel you're loving WoW more than her.
Now if you say that aint the case, she might be someone that simply doesnt settle for 80% of your time and wants to have her grip on you fulltime.

If its scenario one, the fault lies solely with you.
If its scenario 2, id get rid of her asap.

In any scenario id check for yourself what you find most important.
Do you want to maintain as many online hours as possible to exercise your virtual hobby, or can you downgrade your game time to invest more in the relation ship.

Some people just cant maintain a steady relationship due to the preferences they (currently) have in life.
Thats okay tho, but if thats the case, man up and be honest and let her know you want to continue with what you do at the moment.
80 Tauren Paladin
0
She sounds like a....you know.
But I'd defiantly choose IRL stuff over WoW stuff anytime.
Simply because a relationship would benefit you personally and your IRL status.
WoWs' not going to make you happy in the longer term; if you think about the option you've had previously (In your case, the GF or WoW scenario).


I think it can make you long term happy!

Also i don't even bother looking for girs, and keep my V-card so i can play wow, wow is my meaning of life man! I had so low life goals that i completed every one, and one last thing that keeps me going is wow.
And if it wasnt for my wierd personality that don't require almost no social interaction, i'd probably go mad (maybe i did, but don't really noticed it).
Edited by Instantmix on 21/02/2011 10:12 GMT
85 Dwarf Hunter
3410
Mate I promise you this problem is not "caused" by wow, although it may be the first thing to reveal it. It is part of her personality. It can never help to have a talk with her about it. Also, when someone whines at her, just do some name calling and *@!# like that, that will make her feel like you are sticking up for her, hopefully.

Lastly mate, wow is a game, in the long run, which will make you happier?

Good luck with it man. Relationships can be a @!**%..
@ the OP:

Quoting you "i love my girlfiend and i think it's stupid that i should leave her for a video game".

Thats the only right thing you know?, if you truly love her, then dont leave her. Our significant other is allways more important than a game.

Im married, and when my wife complains that I am spending too much time playing wow and not giving her attention, then I know its time to pull the plug on the computer and go do my husbandly duties.

Tbh, a woman - using game terms but not to be seen as an offensive or demeaning coment - allways is much better "loot" than what the biggest and badest raid boss could drop, and all the women in a man's life are unique world drops of ilvl1.000.000 to the power of infite, when compared to a computer game.

Stay with her, and try and help her keep pace with you. Also, do stick up for her when the time comes and remind her that a timely ./rude will disarm most the idiots being rude to her, or if she prefers, a timely Ignore will spare her from grouping with that anoying person ever again :D :D
Edited by Glaive on 21/02/2011 10:19 GMT
85 Human Death Knight
4010
I tried to get my GF (at the time) to give Baldurs Gate a shot, way back when. She didn't make it past the tutorial.

I tried to get my GF (at the time) to play Oblivion because of how freakin' awesome it is...but she got bored after exiting the starting dungeon because "there's nothing to do!".

I tried to get my most recent ex to play Guild Wars with me (I used to play that for ~2 years before I came to WoW around ICC release time). She made a toon, hated it because there weren't any guns or jumping around or any of that "video game stuff".

To be honest, I've given up on getting a partner to play WoW with me. I mean, I'll get her an account and level a toon with her if she expresses interest. But I'm not going to do that on my main, and I'll do it on a toon I don't care about leveling, as a Druid or Paladin (tank/healer hybrid...can carry any other class). That way when I'm on my own time, I don't stand around waiting for her...I level/raid on the classes that are my mains, and she doesn't complain.

Coming to your specific situation OP, I'd simply say, evaluate whether this kind of behaviour implies deeper issues down the road for you as a couple. Especially once kids/family comes into the picture...or work issues...or whatever.

Online RPGs, in that way, are interesting because they provide a sandbox social environment which has absolutely no impact in real life, which allows you to "test" stuff out.
70 Dwarf Paladin
770
you should be able to play wow and have a GF.

WOW is a hobby, unless you are spending ALL of your free time playing it then yes, there is a problem. As long as you and her are having quality time together (away from wow) then she should be reasonable enough to allow you time to play. If not then she is the one with the problem, not you.

What if you did give up wow for her? What would you do for enjoyment next? Will she try and ruin that too?

OH and big mistake letting her join in on your hobby. I know you probably thought you were doing the right thing but if she continues to play you will never get peace...
85 Draenei Death Knight
0
tbh with you, try quiting the game for a while and see how it goes with your gf cuz u can always go back to playing... if u noticed that ur gf is still sulking about unnecessary then that will prove that she's the problem, but in the end you'll learn something that will benefit you later on in the real life while in wow u can just go back to it cuz hopefully the game will be there for a couple more years.. but real life experience comes every once in a while. and if things worked out for the both of u then try coming back to wow and hopefully she won't rage then.. cheers
90 Blood Elf Paladin
9690
I must say, your girlfriend sounds like a real b!tch.

Also, the fact that you are even wondering about this, means you should go for WoW.

Just don't give up on finding a new & better girlfriend, they are out there.
85 Draenei Hunter
12295
sounds awfully similar
and i cant give any decent advice
85 Night Elf Druid
3450
costumes.... male human ganked by female nelf..... you dont know how lucky you are
60 Human Paladin
570
Roll troll hunter and shoot her with tranquilizing shot if she goes psycho. Problem solved.
85 Tauren Druid
4405
Hi Yams,

First off are you sure this isn't just a troll? I think it is.

That said, I have read all 4 pages of replies, and i cant see many mature or helpful responses. So here's my 2 cents, hope its not too long.

What i don't get is why you need to dump the poor girl because she isn't spontaneously amazing at something you've been doing for 5 years. Maybe think about why you are even considering that. 6months isn't a long time at all for a relationship, but its one of the "make or break" points of a fledgling romance, if after 6 months your finding cause to end it whats gonna happen in a year? or even after 2 or 3? The way i see it is if someone has major flaws visible early on then jump ship and find someone better suited to you, rather than wasting years on a b*tch who will ditch you in the end anyway.


Now if you do want to stay with her here's a few tips:

Do you have to play wow together? Since vanilla Ive known a lot of guys try to get their girlfriends into wow, its cute and all, but rarely works. Its something id never do, i like my hobby of gaming, its mine, i would share it with a partner whos already interested, but im not gonna drag a girl into that if its not her style.
Time apart is vital in a relationship, living in each others pockets just makes you subconsciously resent the other person because you don't have any sense of self anymore. Also its important not to change drastically for another person, if you have to change that much for someone then they aren't the person for you. So never ever quit a hobby of yours for another, it should be your choice, for you, not for them.

Now if she really does want to play wow, why not let her do that, alone. She will learn far more working her way up from lvl 1 like we all did first time round, than following you through instances/BGs. Let her find the game for herself, dont spoon feed it too her, let her see if she actually enjoys playing, rather than playing with you. Then when shes got the hang of it pop out the char that youve been secretly leveling to keep pace with hers and go: "hey baby, want me to tank that boss for you" (smooth).
Im guessing your raf-ing, something i wouldnt do with a person new to wow, its just too quick, you cant get a full understanding of a class on the 4day burn up to lvl 60. Get her off the rocket mount and into slow leveling 1-60, its as true in wow as in all things - you have to crawl before you can walk.



If thats TLDR:

Are you breaking up with her for this or something bigger?

Time apart is good, she doesn't have to do what you do just because you do it.

If she wants to do it, let her do it herself, so its hers not "yours".

Never give something you like up for a person, you shouldn't have to sacrifice to be with the right girl for you.
85 Human Warrior
ART
0
Yeh I did, and my statement still stands its not wow, it's any hobby he could possibly have that he'd have to quit and after that, well relationship feels kinda miserable.


the problem here is not him having a hobbie. It's her girlfriend that she can't handle being ganked (in world pvp and in BGs...), can't handle jerks in heroics, can't handle his BF being a level higher than her, and blames him for everything.


Recruit her into WoW and get the rocket.


Here's to people not reading the threads
85 Night Elf Druid
3450
I like how you posted a mini leveling-guide for relationships
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