World of Warcraft®

Hello fellow CoA players,

I have decided, out of the goodness of my heart, to dedicate my time to dispensing my advice and wisdom upon those that request it. Whether it be advice on what colour you should paint your lounge or how to get over the heartbreak of unrequited love, I am here to help.

Please, leave your messages here and I will try and respond as soon as I can.

Hope to hear from you soon,
Oi

hi, im writing for my paladin friend who is afk in orgrimmar all day long, i dont wanna say his name couhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhmyrixkájshrapztenekacough but he dont know what to do and want help with his irl situation, he dropped out of school at the age of 16 because he only played wow and now he sits home all day long afking in orgrimmar while drowning his sorrows in anti depressant, what is his next step?

Hi im shrapz/kaj and i have a huge addiction tio afking in orgrimmar.

pls help

my number is 9001 1009 20014
my email is misswenchisthebest@ilovewench.wenchowns

and my realid is: Zatooisamoron@lolzatman.zatnubi addiction is bad

also i like would 100g for repairs and to mount

give to loan 100g pls in dire need is me

Hello Serze and Káj. I am replying to both of you in one correspondence as I am led to believe the person with said addiction is Káj.

First, thank you got getting in touch. It is good that you came to me and I hope I will be able to deliver you from a life of WoW dependence onto greener parstures.

Now, my advice. To start, the first step to a healthier gaming attitude is to admit that there is a problem. You have admitted this yourself and that is a good sign and a good platform from which to start.

You NEED to go cold turkey to beat this. You have probably been told this before and although it will be tough (and dry - I will explain in a moment) it will be worth it.

The steps to take:

1) Buy one unstuffed turkey, ideally between 6 to 8 pounds in weight.
2) Cook the turkey for 2 and a half to 3 hours.
3) Leave to cool.

Once the turkey is cold, proceed to eat the whole turkey. Make sure it is VERY cold. Although it will be a struggle, eating the cold, dry turkey will place within you a deep sense of self discipline, which will aid you well overcoming your WoW problem.

Hope this helped and all the best, and good luck.

Oi

sounds yummy

Hi there.
I'm wondering if you can help me over my addiction of engaging a fight with Gamon and then feigning death all the time. He must get annoyed with me because I can't stop doing it all night.
Cheers.

I'm wondering if you can help me; my Paladin friend (Let's call him "Apt") is constantly AFKing during raids and it's gone too far now, we can't last 30 seconds without him going away for unexplained reasons and my Raid Leader calling him on Vent is getting tiresome :( It's tearing our guild apart. I seriously don't think you can comprehend just how badly this is affecting us, our Raid Leader will read out tactics on vent (This seems to take quite some time), ask if everyone heard her explain only to find Apt has been away the whole time, she then repeats herself again only to find he was away walking his dog or something (I don't think he even has a dog, but that's a whole other story). This chain can often go on for hours on end before Apt finally gets all of the tactics. Some days I wonder if I should just turn up to the raid 5 hours after it's supposed to start, then I'll only need to wait ~another 1 hour before pulls. It was during one of these times when I was doing a battleground waiting for my Raid Leader to finish explaining tactics to Apt that I realised my problem. Sometimes when I am fighting someone in PvP my actionbar shows that I am in melée range but when I try and use my abilities it says I am out of range, how can I fix this?
*slightly exaggerated*

21/03/2012 22:01Posted by Shikona

I'm wondering if you can help me; my Paladin friend (Let's call him "Apt") is constantly AFKing during raids and it's gone too far now, we can't last 30 seconds without him going away for unexplained reasons and my Raid Leader calling him on Vent is getting tiresome :( It's tearing our guild apart. I seriously don't think you can comprehend just how badly this is affecting us, our Raid Leader will read out tactics on vent (This seems to take quite some time), ask if everyone heard her explain only to find Apt has been away the whole time, she then repeats herself again only to find he was away walking his dog or something (I don't think he even has a dog, but that's a whole other story). This chain can often go on for hours on end before Apt finally gets all of the tactics. Some days I wonder if I should just turn up to the raid 5 hours after it's supposed to start, then I'll only need to wait ~another 1 hour before pulls. It was during one of these times when I was doing a battleground waiting for my Raid Leader to finish explaining tactics to Apt that I realised my problem. Sometimes when I am fighting someone in PvP my actionbar shows that I am in melée range but when I try and use my abilities it says I am out of range, how can I fix this?

reroll hunter bro. OP !@#$ :P especially in MOP

Hello everyone, I am back and ready to provide more wisdom and shed some light on the topics presented to me.

Hello Vdeadmonkeyv. Despite what you may have heard or may have been told, feign deathing, especially after pulling powerful and dangerous creatures is actually a very healthy thing to do. Although there may be a perception that such an act is unsavoury, this is completely unfounded.

In addition, to better make use of the feature, it's advisable to involve your friends, via a stealth invite, followed by a misdirect and then the pull. Oh how you and your friends will laugh!

-----

Hello Shikona, it seems there are various issues you need me to dispense my knowledge on. In regards to your friend, "Apt", I think that his constant AFK's are a plea for attention. What I am about to tell you will shock you, but I feel you need to hear it.

Your friend, "Apt" is not AFK. He will make your raid believe that he is, while he sits at the computer, laughing to himself while listening to the commotion that ensues. He is not walking his dog. He has not gone for a 'bio'. He is there, giggling at you all while he relishes and revells at the chaos he has created.

How will this help you? well, now you know his game. Whether you provide him with chaos and dissorder - his very life force - is now in your hands.

In regards to your PvP action bar question, the answer is rather simple. You must get closer to the enemy to use the spell.

-----

I hope I've really helped some of you today and I will check back tomorrow to see if anyone else needs my help.

Yours truly,
Oi

Hi im shrapz/kaj and i have a huge addiction tio afking in orgrimmar.

pls help

my number is 9001 1009 20014
my email is misswenchisthebest@ilovewench.wenchowns

and my realid is: Zatooisamoron@lolzatman.zatnubi addiction is bad

Haha! The best part is.. Wench didn't even realise this was here :D

could you teach me feral pvp?

my email is misswenchisthebest@ilovewench.wenchowns

Seems Legit.

Ok, my problem, I owe my husband 30k for a mount. and i'm trying to wriggle out of paying him for it, I've mananged to hide from him for a week, but he's soon going to start threatening me with bailiffs, and I fear for my safety. Can you offer help/protection ?

my email is misswenchisthebest@ilovewench.wenchowns

Seems Legit.

Ok, my problem, I owe my husband 30k for a mount. and i'm trying to wriggle out of paying him for it, I've mananged to hide from him for a week, but he's soon going to start threatening me with bailiffs, and I fear for my safety. Can you offer help/protection ?

I heard the Pharmacy can offer protection. if you catch my drift

Hi im shrapz/kaj and i have a huge addiction tio afking in orgrimmar.

pls help

my number is 9001 1009 20014
my email is misswenchisthebest@ilovewench.wenchowns

and my realid is: Zatooisamoron@lolzatman.zatnubi addiction is bad

Haha! The best part is.. Wench didn't even realise this was here :D

I dont even remember putting that haha

Hello everyone, thanks for getting in touch. I hope I'll be able to provide some much needed clarity on the issues raised.

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Hello Zechey, I have seen this request of yours many times and although there have been various attempts to help, it seems that they have not been successful. The key to success in Player vs Player is to keep a clear mind and to focus on your enemy. The reach your true potential you must find a place of tranquillity within yourself. Not only will this help you in Feral PvP, it will help you in all aspects of your life. I hope and truly believe this is the answer and advice you have been craving for such a long time. I hope now you will have peace!

Alternatively, if you are a keen fan of 'stealth' style gameplay, I would rerolled to a rogue character. These have all the tools that Ferals have, but they also have a legendary pair of daggers available to them!

-----

Hello Misswench. I am sorry to hear about your predicament but I believe I will be able to offer you the advice you need.

Zatooski has offered some good advice here and I think we can all guess what he means. But if you don't quite get it, I'll explain. A pharmacy can offer a wide range of soothing sweets to help your husband calm down. These can vary from the Honey & Lemon flavoured 'Strepsils', to 'Beechams', a more powerful, usually Blackcurrant flavoured treat. Personally, however, I would try giving him a Fisherman's Friend, a classic lozenge that is known the world over.

-----

Thanks everyone and please, don't hesitate to ask if you need help or advice with anything.

I am here to help.

Oi

My hat is not sexy enough. Help plz.

Dearest Oi,

I am most distressed and I hope that you can help me. My guild seems to be convinced that I am a mage despite the fact that I am most definitely a warlock. They call me 'Scrumpymage' and ask me for water (I have started carrying it around in my bags for fear of getting guild kicked) and to lay tables like I am some kind of waitress. They want me to spec arcane and have my 'water elemental' checked for rabies. I don't know how to convince them that I am a warlock before they kick me for being a terrible mage :(

Your wisdom would be much appreciated.

Love and kisses,

Scrumpy.

Hello mister Oi, I would first of like to thank you for your previous help (:

I come here with a new predicament, for some reason my guild seems to think I am a 13 year old girl called Amanda (:LLLLLL) when I've told them before that I am 12 and called Anna (: ^_^
How can I get them to call me by my real name because it is not nice because there is a mean girl in my class in school called Amanda and I'm not mean I'm actually really nice :D (: ^_^
XDDDDDDDDDDD
Thank you so much <333333333