Social anxiety

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Warning: Wall-o-text incoming.

I've been playing this game for just over two years now and in that time I've seen several threads, both on the official forums and elsewhere, where people talked about social anxiety and WoW. Soloing everything, because grouping is too stressful; not wanting to speak on vent, even though you do fine in gchat (or even gchat is too much); wanting to try raids, starting a /w to that guy in trade who's lfm, but deleting what you wrote rather than pressing enter; selecting a dungeon in the lfd tool, hovering the mouse over the Find Group button, but after a few minutes closing the window instead; not daring to log your char after making a mistake/saying something stupid and starting yet another alt on a different realm; etc, etc.

Yeah, I'm like that too. I've done Naxx once. I vaguely know where Ulduar is (think I did a weekly there once, I probably blocked it from my memory). I was taken on an alt-run to ICC once, with a hardcore raiding guild I was only in because a friend wanted me to join. I was carried, utterly and totally, but it was fun. Until one of the raiders started to complain about low DPS. I hid my character behind a moonkin (thank goodness for big birds!), hoping he wouldn't see me (I wasn't doing that bad, really, but I was terrified he'd single me out). They would've been fine without me, but leaving would've drawn attention to me and that was the last thing I wanted. Afterwards, I had a splitting headache.
From then on, I always had something else to do when they had a spot left over. I didn't last long in that guild, obviously.

So now I'm thinking of starting a no-pressure guild to try out raiding eventually, to get a chance to heal someone other than myself (priest or shaman, probably, I don't understand my druid anymore *shakes fist at Cata*). Well, I've been thinking about this for a year, actually. I even made a guild (now a one-woman operation), designed a website (okay, several... I like making websites :P ), but I chickened out at the last moment.

I don't care about progression. I don't care about other people's mistakes, only my own (I'm selfish like that). I care about having fun and seeing game content without getting a migraine due to stress.

So if anyone's interested: I've seen quite a few realms and have found Emerald Dream (alliance) to be quite friendly, so I'll be transferring this char there somewhere in the next week to found the guild. I'll make a website (yay!) and if we can get this all going, we can discuss whether we want to use vent/ts. I'm willing to pay for it, but I'm just as happy (probably even happier) using chat to communicate.

TL;DR: I'd like to start a no-pressure guild for people with social anxiety on Emerald Dream (alliance) and am wondering if anyone would be interested.
You will probably find that there are guild on your server like that already, try asking in chat and don't be put off by the "lol noob" you will get from the sad people who's only life is trolling chat.
So are you hoping for a sort of thing where people feel more comforted in the presence of those that also have social anxiety?

I've never personally experienced it - touch wood - so I wouldn't really understand, but I would think there would be some awkwardness about talking, communication and so on.
As I say I have no idea about it as such if being in a guild with others like yourself would be positive or negative - I could only assume it would be a positive thing - but it would play on my mind if there would be problems, atleast at the start.

Ah well, I don't even know why I posted, I'm just thinking out-loud I guess.

But I do support this, I have come into contact with a large amount of people who suffer from anxiety with talking and leading and being around people, and I hope you can set a guild up that can help them get over it, or atleast realize it is controllable.
Dottie, if only it were that easy... For instance: I can't even begin to explain how hard it is for me and many others to talk in trade.

It's not my aim to help people to "get over it" or anything. I'm not a psychologist. I just want to (help) create a place where people don't have to stress about it so much (even though I know they will at least a little, as will I) and be amongst others that understand what it's like. To know that when you're grouped and it's getting to be too much, you can say: "I gotta go" and log off, because you NEED to. NOW!
The Bossy Pally has some good examples here:

I appreciate your post, it makes me see the other side, because I don't get why people don't get it, IYKWIM. :P
And I think out-loud, too. I type it up in a post, then I backspace, then I type again, backspace, type, backspace, get fed up, hit post, slam my face to my desk and cry out “wtf did I just doooooo!”

Which I will start doing in 3... 2... 1...
OMG Seilaani - I can't believe how much I recognised myself in your posts! For instance I am typing this on a character that no-one knows about. Would you be willing to accept new chars to your guild, as I would prefer to start a new one rather than transfer a character over? That way I could learn to play my class properly as I level up, and go through the dungeons at the right level with 'like minded' nervous wreck people with the hope of eventually moving on to raiding.

I've missed out on so much in this game through being like this, and it would be great to play with people who understand.
Of course! New chars are perfectly fine! I'll probably start a couple of new alts myself, too. :)

And no one knows about this char, either. :P
Seilaani, What a brilliant post! I recognise att the "problems" (or whatever) you are having, from past experiences.
I hope you will post some more och what you are doing. Since i would love to be a part of it (hope that didn't sound too wierd :/). What i mean is that i would like to lvl up a char on Emerald Dream.

I'll shut up now :]
Ok thanks ever so much :D

I will start a new char on there sometime today and put you on my friends list. That way I will know when you have transferred. If it doesn't come off then no worries - what's one more alt - lol
Seilanni, if you don't mind a Horde guild; we have one on Emerald Dream now (it started of from a few topics on the general forums).

All you need to be is nice. Mainly because the guild stemmed from getting to know forum posters better. Plus, if you even do have social anxiety, there won't be any sort of preassure on you if you don't want it. If you rather remain quiet in guild chat, go ahead. IT won't matter so long as you're comfortable. But like I said, the only problem is that we're a horde guild.
Awesome! :D

If anyone would rather email me, instead of posting here, I made an addy:

Thanks so much for your replies! <3
Awesome! :D

If anyone would rather email me, instead of posting here, I made an addy:

Thanks so much for your replies! <3

Well, if you want to join, feel free to whisper me on this character ingame (well, it's a paladin with the same name) on the horde side of emerald dream. Just keep in mind that yes, we will do dungeons but like I said, we're all rerollers so please don't expect us to be able to do dungeons at your level yet.

And you're quite welcome :-)
Wait are we doing horde now?
I'd love that C:
Wait are we doing horde now?
I'd love that C:

Oh no, sorry. I was just mentioning the guild we started on Emerald Dream that she might be interested in. I'm not sure if she'll join, though.
OH, Now i get it.

But now i can't choose :( Horde or alliance? The neverending question.
Sorry, Korlurg, I missed your first post there. I also missed the getting-to-know thread on here. I'd really rather not play horde, tbh. I just really enjoy alliance more. :P Thanks very much, though, it's good to know there's a horde option, should I want to switch factions or play both.

Maybe we can have a sort of cross-faction pact at some point, or something. Just brainstorming, here.

Okay, I'm in need of a short break, now, to think things through (again!) XD

Edit: Arisy, no need to choose, you can play both! :P
Well, Seilaani, by all means if you even want to roll an alt just to see it out; feel free to.
Hopefully you get a nice guild though :)
18/06/2011 16:34Posted by Seilaani
Edit: Arisy, no need to choose, you can play both! :P

Yeah I know :D.
I'll start off alliance, with a little dwarf named: Oringo.
And i'll just take it from there :)
Will 'paranoid' be the name of the guild? Sounds perfect! haha. I so hope this will come off. I've been playing for nearly three years now and I love this game. I'm not too shy in gchat, (although the type - backspace - type- does go on). Its just I mainly go to pieces when grouped - a scenario I have tried to avoid as much as possible. But knowing that others in the group feel just like me will hopefully make it so much more comfortable.

Thank you - this is a wonderful idea.
If the guild takes off i'd be interested.
I've been in a few guilds before and don't suffer from the anxiety you do but i understand it and i'd be happy to play with people that don't expect the moon on a stick.
People do get anxious for good reason sometimes :).There are a lot of loud mouth know it alls in WOW.
I'm pretty quiet in real life and in game.Not shy but just kind of always take a back seat,maybe through lazyness :P

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