Oi's Advice Bureau

Chamber of Aspects
Hello everyone, it is great that our paths meet again on this wonderful, sunny Sunday afternoon.

Hello Serze, nice to see you again.

I am very sorry to hear that Shikona is not doing the DPS that she should be. However, as Anna has admitted herself, she is quite young and there may be several reasons as to why her DPS is so low:

1) Has she had her afternoon nap? sleepiness can lead to lower DPS than usual.
2) Is she doing homework while trying to DPS bosses?
3) Are the daggers being used for mundane tasks like cutting out star shapes and for eating dinner? this can leave the blades blunt and lead to further DPS loss.

In regards to the Blood DK question, being the enchanter you are, I would suggest giving the Death Knights paper cuts as you DPS them down. These can be incredibly painful and can easily turn a battle in your favour.

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Hello Káj, it's great to see you back on the thread.

Goodness, you have asked a very delicate question but I feel that this kind of information does need to be know. Disclaimer: What I am about the write is not intended to be explicit, but due to the nature of the subject, I can't be held accountable for any distress caused.

When Gnomes reach adulthood and marry one another, they may want to have a child together, as many loving couples do. This is where it may get a little racy. First, the Husband goes into his shed and finds his best spanner. Next, in the most intimate part of the process, the female goes into her tool box and retrieves her best and most sturdy screwdriver. In a mammoth tinkering session, both parties work together to create a mechanical seed which is then buried in the vegetable patch outside.

After roughly 9 months, the seed will grow into a giant mechanical egg. The female Gnome (who has to work by herself, due to Gnome culture) has to break open the egg. This can take hours and is very stressful and tiring. Eventually however, the egg is opened and inside a baby Gnome is found. New life has been bought into the world.

In regards to your blood elf question, I am afraid the answer is slightly embarrassing but at least a weight will be lifted when you finally know why.

A Blood Elf's right leg is *slightly* longer than their left leg. It's never been proven as to why exactly this is, but every Blood Elf is born with the same problem. I think this will turn into a 'cannot be unseen' moment but at least now you know the truth.

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I hope this post helped and if you need help with anything else, please, don't hesitate to get in touch.

Best wishes,
Oi

Hello Káj, it's great to see you back on the thread.

Goodness, you have asked a very delicate question but I feel that this kind of information does need to be know. Disclaimer: What I am about the write is not intended to be explicit, but due to the nature of the subject, I can't be held accountable for any distress caused.

When Gnomes reach adulthood and marry one another, they may want to have a child together, as many loving couples do. This is where it may get a little racy. First, the Husband goes into his shed and finds his best spanner. Next, in the most intimate part of the process, the female goes into her tool box and retrieves her best and most sturdy screwdriver. In a mammoth tinkering session, both parties work together to create a mechanical seed which is then buried in the vegetable patch outside.

After roughly 9 months, the seed will grow into a giant mechanical egg. The female Gnome (who has to work by herself, due to Gnome culture) has to break open the egg. This can take hours and is very stressful and tiring. Eventually however, the egg is opened and inside a baby Gnome is found. New life has been bought into the world.

In regards to your blood elf question, I am afraid the answer is slightly embarrassing but at least a weight will be lifted when you finally know why.

A Blood Elf's right leg is *slightly* longer than their left leg. It's never been proven as to why exactly this is, but every Blood Elf is born with the same problem. I think this will turn into a 'cannot be unseen' moment but at least now you know the truth.

-----

I hope this post helped and if you need help with anything else, please, don't hesitate to get in touch.

Best wishes,
Oi


best answer ever
Oi, two questions, both involving hair! Yay!

1. After nearly a year since my last haircut, I plan to revisit the ol' barbers. What do you recommend? I have two weeks before college for it to grow back so somewhat short could turn out okay! But not too short that I look silly :o

2. What moisturiser do you use? I intend to look squeaky clean when I get my hair cut.

Oh, one more thing. !@# or bewbs
Hi Puddles, it's great to meet you!

I'm so glad you came to me for styling advice. I've seen so many girls pick totally the wrong look and so you made the right choice consulting an expert.

I've compiled a montage of hairstyles which I feel will compliment your bone structure and skin tone.

http://i.imgur.com/Lw6iS.png

Hope this helped!

In regards to the moisturiser question, I actually use Olay Anti Ageing skin care products. Due to the fact that I am as old and infinite as the universe itself, I feel that anything that helps give me a more youthful appearance is relevant to my interests.

Finally, in response to your third question: neither. I do have a fondness of nostrils however.

Thanks for getting in touch!

Kind regards,
Oi
middle top is a winner
Thanks so much, Oi! I disagree Serze. I'm going with top left. Thanks again :D
28/03/2012 23:58Posted by Handeath
you're IQ is 6 less than mine.

you're
I disagree to disagree and propose we settle this matter in a gentle fassion with a vote where the majority rules.
Now, we know eachothers vote so it's up to the third person, Oi, to decide.
Hello Serze, Puddles and Ryze, nice to see you stop by.

I'm sorry to hear that my montage has caused some disagreement. Personally I am a fan of top left, but middle top also has a chivalrous air about it.

However, I made my personal choice a while ago. Although perhaps it was not clear at first, the top right hairdo (my favourite) is actually a moustache. Furthermore, I must confess, it is my very own moustache.

Was it reckless, rash and audacious to include a moustache in the montage, and to furthermore try and pass it off as a hairstyle? perhaps. But I'm a visionary, a man on the edge, a renegade.

With love,
Oi
Dear Oi, could you tell me how to success in PvP after season 9? I am pretty sure DKs were pretty balanced back then and now its a weak class :'( Also, how to survive RPM opener?

Yours sincerely Radkoo the DK
Hello there mighty Death Knight Radkoo, I am sorry for the delayed response.

Judging by your achievements, it seems you have felt the blood of many enemies upon your blade, the sweat from many intense battles upon your brow and the flesh of many bested opponents under foot.

Now, I must confess that due to my short stature and somewhat skinny arms, I am not the best player in a PvP environment. However, searching through my vast vats of knowledge has turned up some useful advice.

When the RMP opens on you, I feel it'd be beneficial to you to have your team (whatever your comp may be) to CC the rogue as soon as possible. Then, again if possible, have your comrades give you a freedom of some sort, and then train the priest.

Hope this helps and kind regards,
Oi
Dear Oi, I have recent become more interested in one of the newest additions to World of Warcraft; which is Transmogrification, but I have come to a difficult decision as to which of my 2 transmogrification sets I prefer and decided that I should ask for your opinion.
Here are the 2 sets in question: http://imgur.com/zPmw8
The first set is an attempt to make my character look as naked as possible, whereas the second attempt I feel makes me look like a pimp. I feel that both sets are equally fun, and at the moment I am switching between the sets until I notice which one I prefer - any suggestions?

Regards, Shikona.
Dear Oi

I would like to thank you for answering my question in first place as well as sharing your wisdom with me, i am pretty sure whole Death Knight community will take your advices in consideration.

Do not judge yourself as a bad player, you are a Death Knight! Your size doesn't matter, no need to have big arms, too! I am sure many players get feared when someone screams 'Oh my God, i see Pink moustache gnome on battlefield! This must be Oi, the greatest of his kind!'

Again, thank you very much for replying me and good luck on fields of Azeroth.

Yours sincerely Radkoo the DK
Hello Anna and Radkoo, it's wonderful to see you both again!

Dearest Anna, I feel I must dispense my advice and although I know the youth of today are far more outrageous with their dress sense, I think the first outfit is far too revealing. Although I can understand the merits of the first look, and certainly your six pack is something to be admired, it looks like something out of a Rihanna music video!

So, personally I prefer the second style. The chiffon trousers and top, with the faux fur pleating, finished off with the amethyst rhinestone belt certainly radiates a more 'pimping' look.

However, as I said before, I know that the youngsters of today will often go for something more revealing. Wear whatever makes you happy. The most important thing is to love yourself!

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Hello Radkoo, great to see you again.

While I run risk of sounding arrogant, you are absolutely right. Over the years, I have garnered somewhat of a reputation as being one hell of a bad-!@#. I very much appreciate the kind sentiments, especially from such a physically imposing and clearly highly skilled Death Knight such as yourself.

I hope to be a guiding beacon of sense and truth in a world of darkness and confusion.

Kind regards,
Oi
Dear Oi

I need to change my haircut and i seek your advice.

Szakira the Mage vel Radkoo the DK :-)
Hello mighty Mage Szakira, very sorry for such a delayed response. The Dalai Lama popped round and boy can he TALK!!

Anyway, on to the styling advice. As it seems my previous montage was popular, I have created another one to help you pick your perfect look.

http://i.imgur.com/WbwyB.png

I'll talk you briefly through the looks I have chosen for you.

Top Left: Sassy new age rocker, loves to party and go to rock concerts. A true wild child!
Middle Top: A stern businessman who won't take no for an answer. Ruthless, and domineering, he shoots for the stars.
Top Right: A fan of the arts and all things creative. Would most likely be seen at a pottery studio.
Bottom Left: A sassy but successful businesswoman. Knows what she wants out of life and won't let anyone tell her otherwise.
Bottom Middle: A chic streetwise hustler. Ain't no man this baller doesn't scare.
Bottom Right: The alternative modern lady that doesn't let barriers stop her. Why shouldn't women have beards, she says.

Hope this helped!

Kind regards,
Oi
Dear Oi

I choose bottom right, fits best for female blood elf mage :-)

Yours sincerely Szakira the Mage

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